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Emily Wezner-Stepaniak, LPC

The Challenge of Making Friends as an Adult: Why It’s Harder Than It Should Be



When we were kids, making friends seemed almost effortless. A shared lunch or playing on the same soccer team was all it took to form a lasting bond. But as adults, forging new friendships feels like a far more complicated task, often leaving us wondering why it’s so difficult.


Let’s explore why making friends as an adult is more challenging than we expect, and how we can make the process a bit smoother.


Why It’s So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult


  1. Life is Busy—Really Busy Between work, family responsibilities, and trying to squeeze in a little time for ourselves, it can feel like there’s no room left to meet new people, let alone develop meaningful relationships. Balancing the demands of adult life often leaves socializing lower on the list of priorities, even though we may crave connection.


  2. Social Interactions Feel Awkward As children, it was easy to strike up a conversation and form instant friendships. As adults, approaching someone with the intent of making a new friend can feel awkward. You may wonder how to initiate a conversation or how to maintain it, and fear of rejection can stop you from even trying. The natural flow of building relationships that we experienced as kids seems harder to replicate now.


  3. Established Circles Can Be Hard to Break Into By the time we’re adults, many people have their existing friend groups or social circles. Breaking into these established networks can feel daunting, and finding common ground with new acquaintances may take more effort than expected. Unlike childhood, where everyone was in the same situation, adulthood often means people already have their “tribe,” and it can be tough to join.


Strategies for Making Friends as an Adult


  1. Pursue Shared Interests One of the best ways to meet new people as an adult is through shared hobbies and interests. Whether it's joining a local club, taking a class, or participating in community events, finding activities that align with your passions can naturally connect you with others who share similar values and interests. It might feel like a slower process, but it creates genuine connections.


  2. Be Open to Opportunities It’s easy to stick with the comfort of your usual routine, but expanding your social circle often requires stepping out of that comfort zone. Accepting invitations, even if you’re hesitant or don’t know many people, can lead to new friendships. By saying “yes” to more opportunities, you open yourself up to meeting new people in different settings.


  3. Embrace the Awkwardness Making friends as an adult can feel uncomfortable, but it’s important to push through those awkward moments. Everyone experiences some level of discomfort in social situations, and accepting that this is a natural part of the process can make it easier to approach new people. You don’t have to be perfect—just open to the possibility of connection.


Adult Friendships: Worth the Effort


While making friends as an adult requires more effort and intentionality than it did when we were younger, the connections we build later in life can be incredibly rewarding. Adult friendships often come with a deeper sense of understanding, support, and shared experiences that make them valuable and worth pursuing.


If you find yourself struggling to make friends or feeling disconnected, you’re not alone. At The Therapy Collective of Michigan, we understand how important relationships are for mental and emotional well-being. Our therapists are here to help you navigate the challenges of adult friendships and foster stronger connections in your life.


Reach out to us today to see how we can support you!

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